


Phone Call.

by hatoainippon



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-26
Updated: 2015-06-26
Packaged: 2018-04-06 06:21:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4211373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hatoainippon/pseuds/hatoainippon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hey all, so I needed to pour out my emotions after just having an argument with my mom so enjoy this shitty piece written in 20 minutes!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Phone Call.

“Hello…?” He picks up the phone at 3 AM hesitantly.

 

I don’t answer. My body shakes each time I try to speak. My tear stained cheeks itch. I’ve done something horrible… I’m a monster.

 

“What’s going on? It’s 3 AM.”

 

I’m more than sure that he can hear my silent sobs through the phone. I don’t usually call. I hate talking on the phone. I’m a mess.

 

“I’m gonna need you to talk to me so that I can help you…” He says in his usual calm voice.

 

“I hate being home!” I burst. “I absolutely hate it here! I’m judged for every word I speak, every opinion I form, for the way that I am! I cannot take it anymore. Every moment spent at home with my family is a moment drawn closer to my eventual suicide, Javier. I can’t take this anymore..”

 

“Tell me what happened…” His voice changes tone. Oh god. I’m going to have to say it, aren’t I?

 

“I hate this… I tried to explain to my mother how figure skating is becoming globally popular and how Plushenko and I were planning on starting a line for skates, warm-ups, and whatnot… nothing has been set in stone, but it’s just an idea that he and I had… and my mom instantly shuts it down. She said, “Do you really think anyone is going to buy your brand because of the quality of your skating, which has gone to shit by the way. No, they’ll only purchase it because you’re the fresh face from Japan whom every one of all age groups sexualize and fantasize about. No one cares about your skating.” And I explained to her that this wasn’t the case…figure skating was making a name for itself and she just…she just laughed at me… she **laughed** at me, Javi… I’ve never felt so embarrassed in my life… to think that this has become who I am… all of my family members constantly taunt me…I’d say that they’re jealous if there was something to actually be jealous over… I’m nothing and they know it. They resent me for being gay and accepting it… they resent me for winning. They just resent me because I was the only one that could actually make something out of the success of his dreams, but my dream has become my biggest nightmare. I’m living in it.”

 

I start to lose breath and my lips begin trembling. I’m crying again. Javier hums softly for me on the other line, trying to calm me. I love him. I love him so much but I cheated on him and he, too, hates me—and with reason. But somehow, he was still always there for me.

 

“I told my mom about how you and I were in love.” I say once the awkward silence broke.

 

“Oh…?” He responds. I can tell by his voice that he’s weary of the idea of my next few words.

 

“She said that a man and a boy can’t be in love…so then, out of anger, I told her about all the hot, passionate, emotional love making we had.  I asked her how it was possible to experience that without being in love? She blushed and struck me across my face…

 

Javier chuckles. He’s laughing at me, isn’t he?

 

“Well, I was definitely in love. I sensed your potential but we never quite made it to that point. It’s a shame, really. But you can’t change the past.”

 

Wow. He’s really over me.

 

“Maybe I do need to change… I just can’t seem to handle my anger sometimes—or any of my emotions for that matter. I just can’t hold my tongue… It’s a horrible habit but it’s part of who I am. And I hate that about me. I absolutely hate it. Maybe mom’s right… she thinks I didn’t overhear her talking to her relatives about how horrible my personality is and how I’m going to end up dying alone.  Maybe it’s better that way.”

 

“Yuzuru…don’t be like that. Please.”

 

“I think I should go—I’m sorry I’m so stupid to have called you. I’m so sorry--”

 

“No! It’s okay, I don’t mi-”

 

“Goodnight Javier.”

 

I hang up. I’m stupid. Stupid.


End file.
